learning a new perspective

I was walking toward a shopping area some days ago..A lot of people was doing the same..last things to buy for Xmas..
But for me it was not just a rush to buy some things..I had a particular state of mind..Lately I experienced it a couple of times..
I walked and was pretty glad to be able to do it..the walking..to feel the snow under my feet, to see the buildings past me and people around me..Just to enjoy this amazing feeling of having no serious problems..
We forget it so easily..and so often..To be really glad for being able to live decently..and maybe we should stop and think more deeply about what we really need in this life..
I m sure that we can live pretty happily with maybe a 10th of what we have in present..and enjoy life more..As I noticed a lot around me..that the more we have the more we long for and the less satisfied we are with your accomplishments..

It's worth it to stop even for a minute every day and think about it..how much we really need to be satisfied with our life..and how many reasons to be glad and grateful we have..As we can do that, we can feel significantly less stressed about everyday problems and also more kind and nice toward other people we interact with..

I repeat a saying which I feel it's sooo true : 'At the end, all we have in life is what we gave to the others'.. a smile from the heart, a touch of a hand, a kind word of encouragement or thanking. as simple as that!

And because it's Xmas day:

wisdom of the day

Here is a quote I just saw as a motto somewhere..
" Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom" (Th. Jefferson)
That made me raise my elbows..How come?
I noticed sooo many times in my life that almost every time me or anybody else chose to act honestly, nothing good for the person comes out..we just fall from high above and crushing to the ground...it hurts! could that be called wisdom? It could mean I have a peaceful conscience and respect for the others..But to be wise? in the social environment you all live in..maybe honesty is not the first chapter at all..maybe is just a privilege you might enjoy with yourself and the very close ones.

It's even more weird since the quote belongs to a politician..politics rules out honesty from what I see over here at least..or things changed dramatically since the 18th century.

dare!

I just saw the movie about Coco Chanel and it crossed my mind..how much courage she had to show she's different from the social conventions. But everybody is somehow different..and some are so afraid of showing it, of affirming who they really are..I am too, sometimes..But recently I feel it less..I gained a certain strength ..that I have the possibility to follow my own dreams..with all the passion I can put into them..this passion is what can make the whole difference..It seems so laughable, even to myself, to believe (sometimes, not always :)) that I am special, that I have the right to be special in this world. Nevertheless, it's true for any of us.
Just dare to pursue your dreams and to put your soul (meaning positive energy) in the big steps you take in life..or to dare to make them real. At least try! You ll not regret trying something in which you thoroughly believed in the way you would regret not giving yourself that chance.
I remember when I had a tough period some time ago...I felt my life was useless. I was so scared to dream not to mention putting it into reality.. I was in a plane reading a magazine to pass those 8 hours of flying when I just came across one quote which I felt was the kick for my mind to start moving ahead. I write it here maybe somebody would feel the same way:
"whatever you do or dream you can do, begin it now- boldness has genious, power and magic in it. begin it now!" (Goethe)

nature..pure energy

One of my friends is especially sensitive..very attentive to every gesture and words anyone addresses her..A lot of negative energy out of that, of course..only if you think she ( as a lot others, including myself) lives in a big, crowded, dirty and ever rushing city..A time ago, she confessed she recharges her batteries during her staying at a chalet in a mountain resort only by walking alone in the forest..where she can feel sheer energy pouring into her veins..More recently, I started to understand better what is this sensation like..Maybe as we grow older, we begin to need to recharge.Some are more precocious nevertheless. And what I realized is the huge effect nature can have on anyone provided they let it inside them..It is like when I connect my laptop to charge..Living the artificial life of a city, looking everyday without even seeing anymore the cable wires, traffic, blocks of concrete, it's hard to open again to nature..to shiver feeling its power through the bone..a divine presence..like preying in a church maybe..I kind of associate nature and divinity similar to my idea about taoism..I believe humans could feel more at ease and content if they try to live in harmony with nature..bending like a willow in the wind..Not returning to the stone age or moving in the countryside all of us, of course... More like going into the nature like into a church and feel the connection..the pure energy.

Smile!

it's a sort of a little experiment that makes people happy...at least for a moment...
Smile at people on the street as if you were happy to see them, even though you don't know them or you to want to engage in any conversation with them...
I have tried this many times in many countries, when I am in a good mood(otherwise it doesn't work),....and most of the times people have smiled back or said hello and passed by a little happier... I am talking about the people that walk observing the nature and the people around them...not about those who walk but are in their own world...
the 'results' of my 'experiment' are consistent throughout the countries.... but the reactions are different according to the age of the people you're smiling to....
the happiest of them all were the older people... you can see them shine and most of the time they say hello or something nice in return...
...and maybe you forget it was an 'exercise', get into the spirit and be more happy yourself...

funny phone calls

Usually when people is talking on their cell phones, I overhear parts of it..

Quite amusing today, I noticed that when guys are engaged in a talk with their girlfriends, big majority of them aswer like this " hi, darling..I am walking towards/ I am at work/ I am eating/ I won't be long/ I am with my best friend/ my colleagues/ I will be home in 2 hours.." So, most women ask first " were are you? with whom? for how long?".

As for the girls answering the phone, they usually say " hello, sweetie.. I can meet you tonight/ we will drink sth for this evening/ I am so tired , maybe tomorrow.."
So guys are asking mainly " when/ where can we meet?"

That accounts for the differences beetween sexes, I suppose.. pragmatic minds, you guys..

how much selfishness is enough?

I ask this question with the knowledge of the fact that some selfishness is natural and even necessary for surviving and living as an individual among a group, as a psychologist wrote.
Children are selfish by definition until 7-8 yrs of age and some preserve emotions and reactions from childhood throughout their whole life (same source).

Nevertheless, when I meet extremely selfish people, I tend to avoid them..My way of acting when facing an unpleasant situation..
And, still..I used to be one of those.. never willing to give away from my belongings without balancing the offer-receive gain..And the change I could make towards being more generous to people around me took place just because other fellows I met did not react as I usually do.. They didn't walk away..Instead took the patience to offer more and not get upset with my selfish attitude..I slowly understood I can gain more from not being so calculatedly selfish and of course those around me would be more satisfied too.. ( a favorite saying expresses it so nicely : the things which are yours and really matter at the end of your life are not your material belongings, but those who you were able to offer to the others).
What annoys me still is when I offer some things to another who just grabs them and passes by, without being aware that those things are not his/her by nature, it's someone's wish to act less selfish in order to let them have a benefit.. I am aware I still keep a record..of offering and receiving..and believe people should not surpass a certain limit..the common sense one.. I get angry when I notice someone trying to benefit out of me "less selfishness" to put it that way..I can not say I am altruist, cause I have a long road to climb to reach that state, but nevertheless..
I wander which would be the best attitude for me now.. to say the things I am bothered about in the face with this type of persons or to try to make them better persons in the way I was molded by the 'good people' I met in my life?
It crossed my mind I might have been like those I criticize here if it wouldn't have been for those who took the path of acting with patience and generosity! Maybe taking responsibility of changing matters should be as valid in that respect like in the 'preserve nature' or 'help the poor' issues.. As with everything which implies action not just talking, making it real is not easy for sure..

out of fear

When I walk longer distances, I indulge in letting my thoughts wander.. Today I did that..and my mind stuck on things people habitually do out of fear.. Like marrying for fear of not ending up alone, putting up with a partner not fitted just for fear of being on their own, emotionally blackmailing family or friends for fear they could loose the central role in their lifes.
Actually I thought about loneliness as the biggest fear in a persons's life.. I saw most of the elderly people bear very hard the 'coarse' of being alone..even name it the hardest challenge in life..I also noticed that people whom I can name as strong people (not insensitive or cold) can assume this situation with serenity.
Maybe it's just another task I have to assume myself..

weird story

Since someone raised my attention on the lyrics of this tune, I cannot help thinking about it every time I listen to the play..How strange a situation..At first seemed so stupid a thing to do..but perhaps it was a desperate solution for a desperate situation in the mind of a woman..hard to judge someone if you are not in the same situation..and even if..

fragile relationship

Well, I have this theme in my mind for some time.. friendship between a man and a woman.. Is it really possible? If so, under what circumstances? If not, should we not even try it?
To tell the truth, I tend to say no to the first question..or at least from my own experience..A male colleague told me once that this is out of question first of all because the nature of men.. even if they manage to have a close friendship with a woman they feel no sexual interest for, this rapidly changes after the first bottle of wine, whiskey or whatever..I won't comment on that, but I will quote a good friend of mine who concluded (after some unsuccessful attempts of that kind) that "men and women can only be just good friends when they both are involved in happy relationships with other partners". For the moment, it seemed totally acceptable..But now, I realized that ok, that is possible, but not necessarily would happen..Because we tend to limit the relationships we have to our needs..So, if I am content of my happy relationship, I don't really feel the desire or the mood for having a very close good friend..As my mate is my close good friend..Of course it doesn't mean I don't socialize, but to have really good friends you need to put a lot of energy in that..and the energy is already consumed with your partner..
And if you don't have a relationship and feel yourself very comfortable with your opposed sex friend, sooner or later the erotic side will reveal.. perhaps it's so natural like birds fly or lions hunt.. Should this instinct be fought against?