nature..pure energy

One of my friends is especially sensitive..very attentive to every gesture and words anyone addresses her..A lot of negative energy out of that, of course..only if you think she ( as a lot others, including myself) lives in a big, crowded, dirty and ever rushing city..A time ago, she confessed she recharges her batteries during her staying at a chalet in a mountain resort only by walking alone in the forest..where she can feel sheer energy pouring into her veins..More recently, I started to understand better what is this sensation like..Maybe as we grow older, we begin to need to recharge.Some are more precocious nevertheless. And what I realized is the huge effect nature can have on anyone provided they let it inside them..It is like when I connect my laptop to charge..Living the artificial life of a city, looking everyday without even seeing anymore the cable wires, traffic, blocks of concrete, it's hard to open again to nature..to shiver feeling its power through the bone..a divine presence..like preying in a church maybe..I kind of associate nature and divinity similar to my idea about taoism..I believe humans could feel more at ease and content if they try to live in harmony with nature..bending like a willow in the wind..Not returning to the stone age or moving in the countryside all of us, of course... More like going into the nature like into a church and feel the connection..the pure energy.

Smile!

it's a sort of a little experiment that makes people happy...at least for a moment...
Smile at people on the street as if you were happy to see them, even though you don't know them or you to want to engage in any conversation with them...
I have tried this many times in many countries, when I am in a good mood(otherwise it doesn't work),....and most of the times people have smiled back or said hello and passed by a little happier... I am talking about the people that walk observing the nature and the people around them...not about those who walk but are in their own world...
the 'results' of my 'experiment' are consistent throughout the countries.... but the reactions are different according to the age of the people you're smiling to....
the happiest of them all were the older people... you can see them shine and most of the time they say hello or something nice in return...
...and maybe you forget it was an 'exercise', get into the spirit and be more happy yourself...

funny phone calls

Usually when people is talking on their cell phones, I overhear parts of it..

Quite amusing today, I noticed that when guys are engaged in a talk with their girlfriends, big majority of them aswer like this " hi, darling..I am walking towards/ I am at work/ I am eating/ I won't be long/ I am with my best friend/ my colleagues/ I will be home in 2 hours.." So, most women ask first " were are you? with whom? for how long?".

As for the girls answering the phone, they usually say " hello, sweetie.. I can meet you tonight/ we will drink sth for this evening/ I am so tired , maybe tomorrow.."
So guys are asking mainly " when/ where can we meet?"

That accounts for the differences beetween sexes, I suppose.. pragmatic minds, you guys..

how much selfishness is enough?

I ask this question with the knowledge of the fact that some selfishness is natural and even necessary for surviving and living as an individual among a group, as a psychologist wrote.
Children are selfish by definition until 7-8 yrs of age and some preserve emotions and reactions from childhood throughout their whole life (same source).

Nevertheless, when I meet extremely selfish people, I tend to avoid them..My way of acting when facing an unpleasant situation..
And, still..I used to be one of those.. never willing to give away from my belongings without balancing the offer-receive gain..And the change I could make towards being more generous to people around me took place just because other fellows I met did not react as I usually do.. They didn't walk away..Instead took the patience to offer more and not get upset with my selfish attitude..I slowly understood I can gain more from not being so calculatedly selfish and of course those around me would be more satisfied too.. ( a favorite saying expresses it so nicely : the things which are yours and really matter at the end of your life are not your material belongings, but those who you were able to offer to the others).
What annoys me still is when I offer some things to another who just grabs them and passes by, without being aware that those things are not his/her by nature, it's someone's wish to act less selfish in order to let them have a benefit.. I am aware I still keep a record..of offering and receiving..and believe people should not surpass a certain limit..the common sense one.. I get angry when I notice someone trying to benefit out of me "less selfishness" to put it that way..I can not say I am altruist, cause I have a long road to climb to reach that state, but nevertheless..
I wander which would be the best attitude for me now.. to say the things I am bothered about in the face with this type of persons or to try to make them better persons in the way I was molded by the 'good people' I met in my life?
It crossed my mind I might have been like those I criticize here if it wouldn't have been for those who took the path of acting with patience and generosity! Maybe taking responsibility of changing matters should be as valid in that respect like in the 'preserve nature' or 'help the poor' issues.. As with everything which implies action not just talking, making it real is not easy for sure..

out of fear

When I walk longer distances, I indulge in letting my thoughts wander.. Today I did that..and my mind stuck on things people habitually do out of fear.. Like marrying for fear of not ending up alone, putting up with a partner not fitted just for fear of being on their own, emotionally blackmailing family or friends for fear they could loose the central role in their lifes.
Actually I thought about loneliness as the biggest fear in a persons's life.. I saw most of the elderly people bear very hard the 'coarse' of being alone..even name it the hardest challenge in life..I also noticed that people whom I can name as strong people (not insensitive or cold) can assume this situation with serenity.
Maybe it's just another task I have to assume myself..

weird story

Since someone raised my attention on the lyrics of this tune, I cannot help thinking about it every time I listen to the play..How strange a situation..At first seemed so stupid a thing to do..but perhaps it was a desperate solution for a desperate situation in the mind of a woman..hard to judge someone if you are not in the same situation..and even if..

fragile relationship

Well, I have this theme in my mind for some time.. friendship between a man and a woman.. Is it really possible? If so, under what circumstances? If not, should we not even try it?
To tell the truth, I tend to say no to the first question..or at least from my own experience..A male colleague told me once that this is out of question first of all because the nature of men.. even if they manage to have a close friendship with a woman they feel no sexual interest for, this rapidly changes after the first bottle of wine, whiskey or whatever..I won't comment on that, but I will quote a good friend of mine who concluded (after some unsuccessful attempts of that kind) that "men and women can only be just good friends when they both are involved in happy relationships with other partners". For the moment, it seemed totally acceptable..But now, I realized that ok, that is possible, but not necessarily would happen..Because we tend to limit the relationships we have to our needs..So, if I am content of my happy relationship, I don't really feel the desire or the mood for having a very close good friend..As my mate is my close good friend..Of course it doesn't mean I don't socialize, but to have really good friends you need to put a lot of energy in that..and the energy is already consumed with your partner..
And if you don't have a relationship and feel yourself very comfortable with your opposed sex friend, sooner or later the erotic side will reveal.. perhaps it's so natural like birds fly or lions hunt.. Should this instinct be fought against?

autumn mood for romanian folk

a matter of trust

I have a periods of exams these weeks..which make me think less, live less, eat more :)) but it's not about that now..A funny thing happened at a exam..
I stood beside one of my colleagues whom I know quite well..and I know she believes I read more than her..maybe that would be true, but offers no guarantees for the power of the memory..and at a moment, she asked me something which involved figures..I answered somehow confidently and she changed her answer for mine..I confess I was not reassured with that at all..knowing my memory for figures..but I was not able to convince her I might be wrong..Of course I was wrong..and she was right..or would have been right if had not modified the answer.
So, when I came across this I could not help smiling:

"People follow those who believe thoroughly in what they say!"

movie time: A good year

'You'll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning.
The act of losing, however, can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh... how much more enjoyable it is to win.
It's inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it'

We have time

We have time for everything: sleep, run back and forth,
regret we made a mistake and err again, judge others and absolve ourselves,
we have time to read and write, edit what we wrote, regret what we wrote,
we have time to make projects and never follow through
we have time to dwell in illusions and stir through their ashes much later.
We have time for ambitions and diseases,to blame destiny and details,
we have time to look at the clouds, at the ads, or some accident,
we have time to chase away our questions, postpone our answers,
we have time to crush a dream and reinvent it,
we have time to make friends, to lose them,
we have time to take lessons and forget them soon after,
we have time to receive gifts and not understand them.
We have time for everything.

No time, though, for a little tenderness.
When we’re about to do that, too, we die.

I learnt some things in life that I want to share with you!

I learnt you can’t make somebody love you. All you can do is be a beloved person. The rest…depends on the others.

I learnt that however much I care, Others might not care at all.
I learnt that it takes years to gain trust and that you can lose it in just a few seconds.
I learnt that it doesn’t matter WHAT you have in life, but WHOM.
I learnt you can get by and your charm is useful for about 15 minutes. After that, however, you’d better know something.
I learnt that you should not compare yourself to what others can do better– But to what you can do better.
I learnt that it doesn’t matter what happens to people, But what I can do to help them.
I learnt that no matter how you cut it, Every thing has two faces.
I learnt you need to part with your loved ones with warm words.It might be the last time you see them.
I learnt that you can carry on for a long time After you said you can’t.
I learnt that the heroes are those who do what’s needed, when needed,no matter what the consequences.
I learnt that there are people who love you,but don’t know how to show it.
I learnt that when I am angry, I have THE RIGHT to be angry. But I don’t have the right to be a bastard, too.
I learnt that true friendship continues to exist even at a distance. And this is also true for real love.
I learnt that, if somebody doesn’t love you like you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all their heart.
I learnt that no matter how good a friend is, he will nevertheless hurt you every once in a while, and you’ve got to forgive him for this.
I learnt that it’s not always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you’ve got to learn to forgive yourself.
I learn that no matter how much you suffer, the world won’t stop in its tracks because of your pain.
I learnt that your past and circumstances might influence your personality. But YOU are responsible for what you become.
I learnt that if two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And the fact that they don’t argue doesn’t prove they love each other.
I learnt that sometimes you’ve got to put a person first,and not his deeds.
I learnt that two people can look at the same thing and see two completely different things.
I learnt that no matter what the consequences, those who are honest with themselves go farther in life. I learnt that your life can change in the course of a few hours by people who don’t even know you.
I learnt that when you think you’ve got nothing to give, when a friend calls for you, you’ll find the strength to help him.
I learnt that writing,Just like talking, Can soothe the pain in your soul.
I learnt the the people you love the most are taken away from you much too soon.
I learnt that it’s too hard to realize where to draw a line between being nice, not hurting people, and standing up for your beliefs.
I learnt to love so I can be loved.

(Octavian Paler)

pour ton souvenir

That tune..the lyrics..the things which happened to me.. a certain person whom I came across..and for whom I keep a special place in my memory and in my soul..the way he spoke the words..and the emotions..so powerful I could almost touch..and feel scared and joyful in the meantime.. Anyway, I can not remain the same..I sometimes get so involved in my own problems, become nervous, tensed, irritated, and forget so easily why I cherish the person beside me..what are his best points and what made me love him at the beginning..from time to time, the words of a special person awake in my memory .."in those moments of negative thoughts, we should strive to remember why we chose our pair in the first time and focus on those reasons".. I could never forget the way he was speaking to me..you know, those 'words you can feel..really feel'..
Thank you my special friend for the moments we shared..and for the many things you made me aware of ..
I feel also like thanking to my dear and close friend for many years now, who smoothed the ground for all that happened after a certain moment to my conscious, my mind and heart to turn me into what I am now..with good and less good parts, but most important, with feelings..I could never evolve that way without you in my life!
There are also other dear friends who showed me so much patience and affection throughout time that I am so grateful..My heart keeps inside it your 'photografia'!

how would you describe yourself?

I was asked again..this apparently so simple question..How would you describe yourself? ( and it was not for a job interview :))
What big deal..everybody can answer that by 2-3 words at least..
(I even learned about sb's blog in which she put all things she liked or disliked in a pile of short phrases.. it was sth like " I prefer my soup hot. I don't stand mice. I wake up early.etc)
I more often hesitate on answering.. 'Cause it s somehow related to specific moments I think of on the spot..
Your deeds characterize yourself,no?
For my part, on some ocasions I act quite differently depending on a number of factors, the most important being the persons close to me..Like there are 2 opposite fellows inside and they express each in turn.. And then, which one is real?
To make myself clearer, I could be extremely selfish, cold, exaggeratedly proud , even mean with those who awake this 'dark' side of my temper.. With some, on the contrary, I act generously, warmly, without the slightest touch of selfishness..
It's bonded to the persons whom I interact with, but not necessarily a straight relation - good acting people-good side of me and the reverse..Many times it was a cross link: nice people- bad me and bad people- good me..I guess my behavior was related to the feeling of threat..With not at all nice people who didn't awake my 'en garde' reaction, a state of discomfort or menace inside me, I was surprisingly good...So, once again..it arouse the belief..that there are not good or bad people, but comfortable or threatening situations..everybody reacts more or less the same towards these 2 feelings..what makes a difference is the trigger..the way we perceive it.
My last note is on envy..I heard somebody discussing about why are people envious.. it's not about the money, the job or the beautiful wife your neighbor has, but about your perception about his satisfaction with these accomplishments. What we envy is the way sb is feeling, not the trigger actually. It was an interesting explanation of envy and I agree completely. It also helps to turn this negative feeling of envy into something more useful once you are aware of its mechanism...
You could be glad someone is happy and have your share of well being..
I found a quote from Buddha these days..very nice indeed.
"Happiness never decreses by being shared". Take away message.